Brain-based parenting

Meta-cognition, or thinking about thinking - is every budding (slightly buzzing) student philosophers favourite topic. How do our brain’s think about themselves. Honestly, the fact that my brain has been so fixated on studying itself, has always slightly freaked me out!

What is metacognition, when does it develop and what does it mean for supporting your children’s learning and cognitive development?

When does metacognition develop?

If you have ever had a conversation with a three year old, you might have noticed they aren’t the best at knowing what they know. They will often confidently correct you or claim to already know facts that they only just learned. This is because they are bad at thinking about thinking (metacognition). They are only just mastering the understanding that other people have minds and thoughts that are different to their own (theory of mind).

Around age 2-3 children are starting to understand words related to thinking, like “think”, “know” and “want” and starting to recognise thinking as an internal process.

By age 4-5 you will see more obvious evidence of their metacognition. They might talk about how they are approaching a problem or what they found difficult. They still see learning as something finite (like learning to write their name) rather than a long process (like learning to read)

By age 6 they are much more aware of their own thought processes and are better at thinking strategically, planning and monitoring how they are doing in something (“I really like coming up with stories, so I am going to write 10 pages”).

How can metacognition support cognitive development?

Metacognition is a core component of cognitive development because most of learning involves some understanding of how we are thinking and what strategies we can use to help us learn. In order to learn we need to understand ourselves as a learner. We need to know what we know, what we don’t know and how we can fill that gap (let’s be honest- lots of adults are missing the second and third part there!!). We also need to have insight into the learning process. If I want to learn another language, I need to think about how much of the language I already know, choose a way to learn it, monitor how I am doing, and think about what works for me, and doesn't.

Meta-cognition can (and should) be taught and practiced. How parents and teachers talk about learning and thinking influences how and when their children develop metacognition.

What does this mean for my parenting?

Age 2-3

• Use "thinking" language: Talk about your own thought processes out loud. Encourage your kids to think about their thought processes “did you find that puzzle easy to do? “

• Talk about feelings and perspectives: Help your child understand that people have different thoughts and feelings. Using books and movies to talk about how different characters have different perspectives.

  Encourage pretend play: Imaginative play is one of the best ways for children to explore different perspectives and scenarios, which is a foundational element of metacognition.

Age 4-5

• Try to avoid GIVING answers: Guide your child to finding the answer and think about how they got to it. Even if they can’t get to the right answer, thinking about how to get their is important.

• Encourage planning: "We're going to build a fort. What should we do first? What will we need?"

• Talk about learning as a process: Frame activities in terms of learning.

  "You're learning how to use scissors. It takes practice!"

  "Look, you learned a new game!"

• Value "getting stuck": When they face a challenge, treat it as a normal part of learning.

  "It's okay to get stuck. What could we try next?"

  "I see you're finding that puzzle tricky. Shall we try do the outside first”

  Encourge collaborative play: Arrange playdates. Working with friends encourages children to explain their thinking and negotiate ideas, which are key metacognitive activities.

Age 6-8

• Make thinking visible: Model how you approach problems.

  • "This is a hard word. I'm going to break it into smaller parts to sound it out."

  • "I'm not sure what to do next, so I'm going to re-read the instructions."

• Encourage self-evaluation: Ask your child to reflect on their work.

  • "How do you feel about your drawing? What's your favourite part?"

  • "Was that task easy or hard for you? What made it that way?"

• Develop a "getting unstuck" toolkit: Brainstorm strategies together.

  "If you get stuck on a homework problem, what are three things you could do? 1. Read the question again. 2. Draw a picture of it. 3. Ask for a help to tackle it"

• Normalise challenges: Share your own experiences with challenges.

  Reassure them: "It's okay that you're stuck. That's how your brain gets stronger. Let's figure it out together."

By being mindful of your language and interactions, you can create a home environment that fosters curiosity, encourages reflection, and builds the metacognitive skills your child will use for the rest of their life. Avoid saying things like “maths sucks” and perpetuating stereotypes that learning is too difficult or that just getting the right answer is the most important thing.

In my new Parenting Playlist, I also cover how self-confidence can help your children’s cognitive development…

Want more of this in a way that is easy to digest and gives you quick daily tips? My new expert parenting playlist has launched - 3 minutes and under to effective and intentional parenting

 https://parents.playroom-app.com/